Sometimes I Just Need to Shut My Mouth

The concept of underestimating is a specialty of mine. I’m very good at “talking the talk,” so it’s called, but I tend to fall short on “walking the walk.” Today, being a prime example of just how overly-confident I can be at times before reality smacks me in the face, or in today’s case, on the butt.

Last night, after the gym, my friend asked my boyfriend and me if we’d like to join him on his hike up South Mountain – a task he ensured would be “challenging but do-able, no doubt.” Since I’ve been hiking many times before, I quickly accepted his offer and was anxious for feat that awaited us the following morning.

Upon waking up at 9:00 a.m. today, I was excited to rough if out on the ridged, desert terrain of the mountainside. Being a fairly athletic person, I figured I could hike the several peaks, no sweat. I knew that I might have a little difficulty at first, but then my body would warm up and I’d be a pro in no time. Confident in my ability to overcome the mountain and give my boyfriend a run for his money, I began to smack-talk. How stupid.

Right when we set foot on the trail, my friend shouts back to me, “Not gonna lie, this first part’s a bitch,” (emphasis on the last word). Nothing like hearing that to get you pumped for an hour and a half hike ahead of ya, right? I knew then and there that I was essentially done for – and boy was I right. Immediately after that, the trail took a frightening turn for the worst – a nearly 45 degree shot, straight up to the top of the first peak amidst countless jagged rocks and cacti which lay in our path. I ran out of breath only halfway up that peak and felt as though I was going to die.

The boys, several feet ahead of me and nearly out of my sight, hollered back, “How ya holding up Kaylyn?” I wanted to strangle them as soon as I could catch up to them because I knew they were mocking me under their breath. Unfortunately that small beacon of hope never came. I was behind them the entire hike and had to stop at least three different times – one of them being not of choice, but due to a clumsy slip on my part. At the time, my boyfriend was walking past a cactus and made the remark, “Oh look, some male genitalia on the side of the trail,” as he pointed to a prickly cactus that was, I have to admit, a spitting image of a man’s southern region. Caught off guard by such a remark amidst my frustration, I lost my footing trying to spot out this amazing piece of natural art that I just had to see, and landed smack on my butt. Seeing and hearing my entire plunge to the rocky ground, Zack, my boyfriend, replied, “Aw, nuts!” He can be so sarcastic sometimes.