Focus for Five

It’s 11:30 and I have five minutes to observe.

As I focus on the surroundings that lay just past the screen-covered window, I notice that same old green beat up Honda, parked adjacent to the sun-colored fire hydrant. It belongs to my neighbors; the ones to the left. I remember when they first bought that car. Once-upon-a-time it resembled the same characteristics of an emerald jewel: pristine, in mint condition, and captured the rays from the light in such a way that you couldn’t help but stop and stare in admiration. Now, however, it just sits on the side of the street, motionless as it gathers up grime and filth from the other vehicles that pass by. The chunk of metal shamelessly reveals a large, rigid dent on the front bumper of the driver’s hand side; a perfect indication of just how my neighbors take care of their belongings.

As my mind begins to drift to thoughts of my unusual and lackadaisical neighbors, a red van advances by, unbeknownst to the driver that I am watching them from my window. The brightness of the sun is reflected onto the speeding red engine, causing my eyes to tear up and burn. I can no longer focus on the van. I look up. The sky is pale blue and the sun is steadily climbing, as if it were ascending a staircase in the atmosphere. As it attempts to reach its highest point in the heavens, I become aware of the time of day – nearly noon. An unexpected shadow suddenly and swiftly flies into my focus. As I follow the object to eye-level, I soon realize that it is but a bird – a finch to be exact. It lands on a cluster of Sedum Sieboldii bushes that guard the front of my house. Searching for food, it can find none; for the leaves are beginning to turn a tint of brown, indicating the coming of summer. Upon the realization that he cannot find nourishment in my front yard, he prepares for take-off and soars away.

With the absence of what little entertainment the young bird provided me, my mind begins to wander. I think about the serenity that exists just beyond the glass in front of me. The outside world is ever-so-calm compared to my state of mind. What feels like thousands of thoughts scamper throughout the pathways in my brain; constantly in a desperate attempt to escape the walls that imprison them, but I won’t let them go. I can’t. Things don’t feel right, I don’t feel right if I’m not worried or stressed about something, anything. I force myself not to think about all the homework I must get done today, the exams that are right around the corner, the obligations I have made to family and friends.

“Snap out of it!” I think to myself. I glance at the clock on my cell phone that rests gently upon my chattering knee. The numbers reveal a bold “11:35” in white italics. My five minutes are up.